I am so stoked! It is July! It is almost time for our next IVF fresh cycle. I'm going to refer to it as the cycle that almost didn't happen. Why did it almost not happen, you ask?
Well, I ALMOST cancelled it. By almost, I mean that the thought ran across my mind more than once. It all started some time last week when I got a bill from the fertility clinic showing that we owe $3500 out of pocket for the FET back in January. I understand that a lot of states don't have ANY fertility coverage, so if you want to slap me for bitching about this, then I won't blame you. But seriously...until I find a teaching job, we are struggling. We don't have thousands of dollars just sitting in savings. I was frustrated and thinking about how it would be nice to stop getting ourselves deeper and deeper in debt. I thought about the fact that we may never have a successful IVF or FET. We are getting deeper in debt for possibly nothing in return. That thought pisses me off. I started doing some light research on child free living last week. Check out BuzzFeed's article: 28 Reason's You're Better Off Never Having Kids. Oh my gosh does it sound lovely.
However, I don't want to get past my childbearing years and regret not exhausting our resources. We both want a product of our love and we LOVE kids, but I think that both of us would actually be okay with not having children. I asked Mike how much he wanted kids the other night. I wanted a percentage from him. He wouldn't give it to me....probably because he didn't want to hurt my feelings or piss me off. I think if I had to give a percentage, I would go with 70% of me wants kids and 30% doesn't care. Or 65/35. I'm not quite sure. I figured that Mike wanted me to say first, so I just sent him a text while I was thinking about it and he said he is about there or 60/40. Either way...child or no child...I know he is the one for me and that we will have an amazing life together. He is my heart and I look forward to all of our future adventures.
He is currently on Clomid to try to help his number of sperm increase. He had a semen analysis yesterday and will be hearing from his doctor shortly. We are still going to go through with this cycle, but we may chose to hold off on doing a frozen embryo cycle. Hopefully we don't have to worry about any of that. Hopefully July is good to us and that August brings us a BFP!