I was so excited to be PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). I have tried to be so positive during this cycle. I thought for sure that in less than 9 months I would be bringing home one or two babies from the hospital. Of course every little symptom was something that I read could be a pregnancy symptom or because of implantation. Then last night I went to the bathroom and wiped and saw a little bit of light brownish blood. I immediately got upset and contacted my sister who did the research online and found this:
Does Spotting Mean Its Over?
No. Please breathe now - you're turning a remarkable shade of blue. Your
body has been going through a lot during your IVF cycle. Hormones,
injections, stress, egg retrieval (if it is a fresh cycle) - none of
these should be discounted. And during the transfer your doctor probably
used a speculum so he/she could visualize your cervix, then the
catheter had to pass through the cervix, and then the catheter may have
irritated a tiny bit of the lining. In addition, you are likely on some
hormone supplements including progesterone, which can cause spotting.
Any of these things could cause a little spotting, and not necessarily
There is another thing that can cause spotting, and this is a happy possibility: it's called implantation spotting.
Implantation spotting happens when the embryo burrows into the uterine
lining and implants, so that it can begin growing. Implantation spotting
often looks different from other types of spotting; the color is a
light pink or light brown and it may be "streaky" in appearance.
Some women say that in addition to spotting, they also feel some mild
cramping a little before or at about the same time the spotting begins.
The feeling typically does not last long, as the embryo is quite tiny
and only causes a mild disruption in the uterine lining.
Not everyone experiences implantation spotting, so it is one of those
aspects of the post-transfer period that tends to make women question
everything. Are the cramps the beginning of my period, or are they
implantation cramps? Is that spotting implantation spotting or is it the
beginning of my period? I don't have any spotting or cramping - so
maybe the embryo didn't implant! And on and on, until we are in a two
week frenzy of anxiety and nerves.
I felt a little better until I woke up this morning to blood on my pantiliner. I decided to go against what I said and I took a HPT (with the first pee of the day) just to see that my instincts from last night were right. I was tired of being hopeful when my head was telling me that it just didn't work. Of course I saw "Not Pregnant" for about the billionth time. My heart is breaking.
I feel that my body has failed me...over and over again. Now I have to go in for the pregnancy test tomorrow @$$ early in the morning...and for what? I already know the answer, but they gotta do the test.
On another note, we got the call from the lab a few days ago that said that they are freezing 3 embryos. I just have to call the insurance company to see if more than one embryo transfer is covered. We have my husband's insurance until the end of the year and they cover 1 IVF. I don't know if that is 1 egg retrieval and as many transfers that we need to do until we use up the embryos, or if that is 1 egg retrieval and 1 transfer. We may have to wait until we get under the school district insurance at the beginning of the year. I sure am tired of waiting.
I am really hoping and praying that my blogger friends that had close IVF cycles to me have a better outcome than I did. I will keep my fingers crossed for all of you!