Saturday, November 30, 2013

The 17 Day Diet

Since we started seeing a RE, I have been too worried to lose weight. When I go on a diet, I am usually not eating enough that would be a good amount for me and a baby. Well, since I know that I won't be PUPO again until the end of January, I seriously want and need to lose some weight. Whatever I can. If it is even 5 pounds, it will make a big difference. I have this fear of looking like a blimp when I am pregnant. Can you imagine if I was pregnant with twins? Oh gosh. Yes...I need to drop some weight. :)

A friend of mine from high school followed the instructions for the 17 Day Diet 2 years ago and went from a size 10 in March to a size 2 by May. She didn't even exercise. She just ate the right amount of certain foods. Awesome! :)

After hearing about the diet, I bought The 17 Day Diet Workbook and it has just been sitting in the spare bedroom since then. I took a look at it for the first time a couple nights ago.

I found a blog post that gives more information about the diet and the first cycle. Go ahead and check it out! I'll wait....

It doesn't seem too bad, right? I hope not. I'm going to create a page on my blog to record my measurements and weight loss. Of course I am too embarrassed to put my measurements and weight, but I will probably record weight loss daily (ex. -1 lb) and measurement (ex. -.25 in) loss weekly.

Mike is going to try it with me! We're going grocery shopping tomorrow and the diet starts on Monday! Wish us luck!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Surgeries Galore Next Week

My doctor's office called last night with two dates open to do a hysteroscopy before the end of the year. She had December 4th and the 16th open. I wanted to have this procedure done as soon as possible to give my body a good amount of time to heal before the January FET, so I went with December 4th, which is in one week from today. This past June I had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy done, so I know kind of what to expect. They won't be making incisions and going in at the belly button, so I will be able to go back to work the very next day. I might have a little bit of cramping, but that's it.

In other surgery news....I haven't really mentioned this in any other posts because I wasn't sure that Mike would be okay with me posting his business on the internet, but since it could be a big factor of our infertility, he is okay with it. Mike has a very low sperm count. It's usually around 2.5-5 million sperm with a 75-95% motility. He has had some pain (down there) for about a year. He saw a doctor locally either late last year or earlier this year and the doctor thought it might be epididymitis and gave him some mild pain pills and told him to relax in a warm bath a couple times a week.

What is epididymitis, you ask?

Epididymitis is an inflammation of the coiled tube (epididymis) at the back of the testicle that stores and carries sperm. Pain and swelling are the most common signs and symptoms of epididymitis. Males of any age can get epididymitis, but it's most common in men between the ages of 14 and 35.

After seeing this doctor twice and not him resolving the issue, Mike decided to go to his dad's urologist about an hour north of us. This doctor told Mike that he thinks that he has varicocele and he ordered an ultrasound. The ultrasound verified that it is indeed varicocele.

What is varicocele, you ask?

A varicocele (VAR-ih-koe-seel) is an enlargement of the veins within the scrotum, the loose bag of skin that holds your testicles. A varicocele is similar to a varicose vein that can occur in your leg.
Varicoceles are a common cause of low sperm production and decreased sperm quality, which can cause infertility. However, not all varicoceles affect sperm production. Varicoceles can also cause testicles to shrink.
Most varicoceles develop over time. Fortunately, most varicoceles are easy to diagnose and many don't need treatment. If a varicocele causes symptoms, it often can be repaired surgically. 

It's not just one or bunch of veins. He is scheduled to have a varicocelectomy on December 6th (next Friday).

Tell you more about a varicocelectomy?! OK!
Varicocelectomy is by far the most commonly performed operation for the treatment of male infertility. The goal of treatment of the varicocele is to obstruct the refluxing venous drainage to the testis while maintaining arterial inflow and lymphatic drainage.

In principle, repair of varicocele should halt any further damage to testicular function, and in a large percentage of men, results in improved spermatogenesis as well as enhanced Leydig cell function. Urologists, therefore, have a potentially important role in preventing future infertility, which underscores the importance of using a varicocelectomy technique that minimizes the risk of complications and recurrence.

So Mike will be out of work for two weeks. Since he just started this job in June, he has no paid time off. We will be without his paycheck for two weeks. Ouch.

Next week is going to be a BLAST! Wish us luck! :)

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Are You Kidding Me?

Today I went in for a saline sonogram that my doctor recommended yesterday that I have before the beginning of my FET cycle (which was to start 12/2). The last time that they checked for polyps was when I had the HSG done in August of 2012. Since it had been over a year she wanted me to have this procedure done again.

The nurse practitioner, Tammy, was the one to do the procedure. She is super nice. My nurse, Sandy, was also in the room. Let me start by saying that the procedure itself was not bad. I think the worst part is always that darn freezing cold speculum and maybe the small cramp that I got from the catheter being inserted into me. I was thinking so positively that everything was going to be perfect until I heard: "Oh, Stephanie. It looks like you grew something." Yep. I have a freakin' polyp. You see the spot in the picture below? That is my uterus. It should be all black. Do you see the white (looks blue in this picture) squiggly? That is the polyp. According to Tammy it could happen when you are on a lot of hormones for a long time.

My nurse said that she questioned why the doctor had me coming in for a saline sonogram today, but she was glad that she did. Otherwise we would've gone through with the FET and either the embryos wouldn't implant or they would implant in another area and there would be less room for the baby to grow because of the polyp.

They don't go away on their own, so I have to have surgery to get rid of it. I am currently waiting on a phone call from the nurse that schedules the procedures to schedule a Hysteroscopy to have the polyp scraped out. This means that the December FET is out of the question. That makes me incredibly sad. I had to hold back my tears in front of Tammy and Sandy. It was so tough and I know that they could tell because they got sad looks on their faces. So, I decided to wear my Rosie socks tonight because I need something/someone to remind me that I am strong. :)

Yesterday Teresa @ Where the *Bleep* is Our Stork? wrote a blog post called My Infertility Has a Song about the song that she associates with her infertility (hence the name of the blog post). She asked her readers if we have a song for ours. I did not. Until today. The last two days on my lengthy trip to the clinic and back, I have been listening to the Christmas station. I usually refuse to listen to it until after Thanksgiving, but I have needed a little bit of happy music lately, so I decided to listen. On my way back from the clinic today, I heard Mr. Grinch. I immediately thought THIS IS MY SONG! Sine the FET was supposed to be 12/18, I was really hoping for a positive HPT on Christmas. Now that my BFP Christmas present has been stolen away, my song about my infertility is Mr. Grinch. He's a mean one. That's for sure.

And I leave you with a song about my infertility....

Monday, November 25, 2013

Meeting w/ Doctor Re: FET

Just because my readers extend beyond other infertility blog authors and to my family and friends, I am going to start by explaining the acronyms that I am using in this post.

FET: frozen embryo transfer
BFP: big fat positive (pregnancy test)
IVF: in-vitro fertilization
AF: Aunt Flo (I've always had an issue with that saying because my mom's name is Florence...Flo for short. My cousins call her Aunt Flo. It's just weird. Haha.)
CD(#): cycle day

So, I got a call earlier today from the pharmacy out of New Jersey that I get my fertility meds from. I had already set up with them that they would send out my meds tomorrow for a Wednesday delivery. That is perfect because I have a 5 day weekend starting that day. :) The pharmacist was confused because they were going to be sending me Crinone (progesterone suppositories) and she had just received an order for progesterone oil. Boo. For those of you who don't know...progesterone oil is a my behind. I was hoping to do without those darn shots because I had heard nasty things about them. Of course Ashley @ Man and Wife and Two Fur Babies made it look so easy and pleasant with her smiley face in this post. ;) After talking to the doctor today, it sounds like progesterone oil helps make FET's more successful. Ok....shots it is. I will deal with the pain to get my BFP.

Like I just mentioned, I went in to talk to my doctor about the IVF fresh cycle and the upcoming FET earlier today. I had some questions and concerns for her about both procedures. Here is my list of questions for her and her answers:

Q: What were the grades of the first 2 embryos transferred?
A: 3-4. 4 is the highest grade possible.

Q: What are the grades of the remaining 3 embryos?
A: The same

She seemed very pleased with the amount of eggs retrieved, mature eggs, and the 5 embroys that are grades 3-4. She said that she feels that something must have been wrong with those 2 embryos that didn't implant. She made it sound a little better than I just did, but I trust her and I trust Chicago-IVF and I am certain that they will get me pregnant. :)

Q: How many embryos are going to be transferred for the FET?
A: Because of my age and my good health, they can only transfer 2. After 2 failed transfers, they can transfer 3. Of course....if all of them make it through thawing then we will have a lonely little embryo left. I forgot to ask if we would then do another egg retrieval and put that embryo with two new embryo. Do any other infertiles know?

Q: What if I don't start my cycle by next Monday (the date I am set to go in for baseline labs and an ultrasound)?
A: I am concerned about this because I am currently on CD23. I stop progesterone and estrogen meds on CD25 and SHOULD see AF before I go in. I am worried that I won't start my new cycle because I usually have longer cycles. My doctor is hopeful that I will start my new cycle. If I don't start it by then, we may have to push back the FET. :/

Q: With the holidays, when will the transfer be?
A: December 18th

Tomorrow I am set to go in to the clinic for a saline sonogram. I don't feel like typing up an explanation of what that is, so if you are interested, watch this video. :)

My nurse, Sandy, is fighting with my insurance provider because they are not wanting to cover the FET. I have Blue Cross Blue Shield, but it is through the Local (union), so it is a little different. They can review things and make certain decisions/calls. They only cover 1 IVF cycle, and count an FET as another cycle, even though it isn't. They may put it under the 1st transfer and cover it. We do not know for sure, but my nurse and the insurance lady at Chicago-IVF are dealing with it and said that they would keep me in the loop. If they don't cover it then they said that it would be $4800 for the transfer and $500 for the surgical center. I straight up told her that we can't afford that. I did explain to her that we are changing insurance at the 1st of the year, so I will have new and better IVF coverage.

So, fingers are crossed that BCBS covers my FET because I want my little Christmas present! :)

Sunday, November 24, 2013

One Lovely Blog Award

I've been nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award by Teresa at Where the *Bleep* is Our Stork. Teresa is an awesome lady and has been so supportive in my journey. Thank you, Teresa, for being an awesome friend! :)

Here are the rules:

1) Thank the one that nominated you.
2) Put up the picture for the One Lovely Blog Award.
3) Tell everyone seven things about yourself.
4) Nominate seven other people and tell them that you have nominated them.

Seven things about myself...Here goes:

  1. I have major road rage at times. Sometimes I wish cars never existed.
  2. I love to tickle my pups feet or run after them and pinch their tooshies. :)
  3. I was born with a third thumb stemming off of my left thumb. My parents had it removed twice and now there is just a bump there.
  4. My favorite place in the world is Playa del Carmen, MX and I have a countdown on my phone until the next time we plan on going back (our 10 year anniversary in 831 days). Maybe I will make my lie from my Two Truths and a Lie post a reality. :)
  5. I have always been an incredibly jealous person in relationships. I can't help it.
  6. I sometimes regret going to school to be a teacher. I can't find a teaching job and I have student loans up the wazoo. :/
  7. My favorite show to this date is Veronica Mars and I am so excited for the movie to come out next February. I know, I'm a dork.

My seven nominations go to:
  1. Amie at Is It Time Yet? 
  2. Ashley at Man and Wife and Two Fur Babies
  3. Caroline at In Due Time
  4. JoJo at JoJo's Infertile World
  5. Kailey at Cheers to Plan A
  6. Risa at Who Shot Down My Stork
  7. Shay at The IF Journey 

Two Truths and a Lie: Were You Right?

Here are the answers for my two truths and the lie:

1. I did volunteer work at an orphanage in Mexico. LIE: I have been to Mexico (the Riviera Maya) twice, but only for relaxation and adventures. I would really like to spend some time there volunteering with children at a school or an orphanage.

2. I was born with three thumbs. TRUE: I was born with an extra thumb stemming off of my left thumb. My parents had it removed twice, but there is still a little bump. It doesn't bother me and it doesn't hurt, so I am okay with keeping it. One of my aunts has a third thumb on (I believe) the left thumb as well. It runs in the family. ;)

3. I was put on academic probation in college and later kicked out. TRUE: I was. I am not proud of it, but it is the truth. I attended Northern Illinois University for 3 semesters before I was kicked out at the end of 2001. I can make a million excuses, but I just didn't apply myself. Having a class an hour earlier than I was used to being at school for 12 years of my life, really threw me off. I would not be able to concentrate because I was falling asleep in class and then at the end of the day I would try to study and fall asleep on my books. I never got into a good routine to succeed. It's entirely my fault. Besides...a lot of the classes were lecture classes. If I am not being put on the spot, I will probably not do the readings. lol ;) In January of 2007 I went back to school part time. I attended the local community college and then transferred to a smaller university. The small class sizes were a much better fit for me. I finally graduated in May of 2012 with my bachelors degree in Elementary Education with a 3.82 GPA. Now if I could only find a teaching job...

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Sunshine Award (Again)

I received the Sunshine Award from another blogger last month and created a post on it already. I was also just nominated today by Kailey at Cheers to Plan A. Thanks, Kailey! :) I decided that I would answer her questions, but not nominate for the same award again. It's a lot of work. Ha ha.

Kailey's Questions
1. What is the best vacation you’ve ever been on? 
My husband and I went on a 5 year anniversary trip to Playa del Carmen, Mexico in March of 2011. It was an amazing trip. We went out on a catamaran to go snorkeling, rappelled into a cenote, swam/snorkeled in a couple cenotes, zip-lined, rode bicycles thru the jungle, went parasailing and shopping/eating in downtown Playa del Carmen.
2. What is your favorite Bible verse/quote?
I don't really have one. I grew up Catholic, but I am not really a practicing Catholic anymore. I do believe in God and I do pray to him, I just don't attend church anymore. Don't judge me. ;)
3. Share two lessons that you’ve learned in your life.
Fight for what you want (never give up) and treat others as you would like to be treated.
4. What is your profession? Do you love it? 
I am a certified teacher, but I have not had any luck finding a teaching job. Right now I am a Special Education paraprofessional (aka teacher's aide).
5. What is your favorite sport to watch? 
We mainly watch football. I don't really understand it all too well. My personal favorite to watch is baseball because it's easy to understand.
6. What are your thoughts on leggings as pants?
It depends on the shape of the woman. Skinny girls look cute in them. I would look terrible. lol
7. If you could have a practical car and a fun car, what would they be? 
My practical car would be a Ford Edge for when we have babies. My fun car would be a Porsche Boxster.
8. If you had 1 million dollars, what would you do with it? {Be specific and taxes have already been taken out!!!}
I would buy a decent size house and decorate it/remodel it if needed, buy a Porsche Boxster and Ford Edge (haha), and put the rest in the bank. Oh wait. I would go to Mexico for a month and then put the rest in savings.
9. If you could have breakfast with anyone in the world {dead or alive} who would it be?
Kristen Bell. I love her. :)
10. Do you play any instruments, if so, which one? 
I used to play the clarinet when I was younger.
11. Chocolate or vanilla?

November Sock Exchange

I joined Risa @ Who Shot Down My Stork?'s November sock exchange a few weeks ago. I was partnered up with Lauren @ our crazy ever after. I received a package in the mail yesterday from Lauren. This is what was inside the package:

  1. Christmas Socks w/ reindeer buddies wearing their Christmas sweaters - Very adorable!
  2. Zum Jolly goats's milk soap in holiday almond - Not sure if I've ever used goat's milk soap, but I'm looking forward to it. It smells so good!
  3. Betsy Johnson pink nail polish - I love pink nail polish!
  4. purple fuzzy socks - Great for these cold nights that we are getting!

She gave me the hook up! ;)

Thanks, Lauren! I love all of it! :)

Friday, November 22, 2013

Tag: Two Truths and a Lie

Teresa at Where the *Bleep* is Our Stork? posted her two truths and a lie and I read it, so I am tagged. :)

If you are reading this, you have to do it.

Tell us 3 things about you and make 1 of them a lie. Try to think about what other bloggers already know about you, what they might not know, and what might shock them. The trick is to make it difficult to tell which of the three is the lie....

Here are three things about me.

1. I did volunteer work at an orphanage in Mexico.

2. I was born with three thumbs.

3. I was put on academic probation in college and later kicked out.


Comment below with which one you think is a lie.

Make a new post on your blog and do the same.

After you get a bunch of guesses (or whenever you feel like), make a new post with the right/wrong answers and explain them if you want.

Monday, November 18, 2013

It's Time to Start the Meds

I went in for repeat labs this morning. My progesterone and estrogen are still low. After talking to the doctor, one of the nurses called me back with my instructions.

Starting tonight:
Provera: Take 1 pill before bed every night
Estradiol: Take 2 pills tonight and then 2 in the morning and 2 before bed every night

I do this until November 27th and then I go in for baseline labs and an ultrasound on December 2nd.

It sounds like I will have to do the Ganirelix shots a lot this coming cycle to slow things down. My nurse told me to try to ice the area before giving myself the shot. I hope that works! They bruise me badly!

I am sure that I will find out more about the FET on the 25th when I meet with the doctor. I am looking forward to December and hoping that God gives me the only Christmas present that I want! :)

New Blog Name

Sorry, everyone! I decided on a new blog name on my own yesterday. Ha ha. It is "The Icing On Our Cake". I like the meaning behind it. Icing on the Cake: When you already have it good and get something on top of what you already have. That sure sums up my life. I have a great life with a great husband. The icing on the cake would be to finally have babies. :) I didn't even have this one on the poll because my husband didn't like it. He seemed to think that it sounded more like we have the icing on the cake already. To me it doesn't say that we have the icing. We are just waiting for the icing on the our cake (a.k.a. our babies). I liked this name because it can be used now and when we have children. This way I don't have to go through the trouble of changing it again. I really wanted a .com domain, so I went with After much frustration trying to set it up yesterday...using my phone because the power was out (stupid tornados), it is completed. My old blog domain forwards to my new domain. I am hoping to get the blog title image changed over today. 

What do you think? Did I make a good choice?

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Update and Poll

I went in for lab work yesterday morning. I got a message from my nurse later in the day  telling me not to start meds. My estrogen and progesterone are too low. She put me on the schedule for 6am on Monday morning for repeat labs. They are hoping that my estrogen and progesterone will increase over the weekend. She said that we will have to do a Ganirelix protocol for our December FET (frozen embryo transfer). I don't know exactly what that means (if you do, please share). She said that we will talk more when I come in on Monday morning. I do know, however, that I HATE Ganirelix! The shots bruised my stomach. :( Boo.

On another that I am working with junior high students, and some of them know my first name (I write it on their referrals...and I worked with some of them when I worked for the YMCA), I am planning on changing the title of my blog (to get rid of my last name). I do not want them to search my name and find out any personal information about me. I already had some kids tell me that they were going to find me on Facebook. Thank God I changed that to my first and middle name years ago. :)

So, I really like the idea of using an idiom for the title that fits with our situation. I have a poll on the right hand side of my page under the "About us" and ticker. Please help us pick an new name by voting! Thanks so much and I hope all of you have a great rest of your weekends! :)

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Join Us for Teresa's Ornament Exchange

Teresa at Where the *Bleep* is Our Stork is hosting an ornament exchange! Stop by her blog to get details and to sign up! Sign up no later than 11/22/13! :)

Monday, November 11, 2013

It's National Adoption Month!

I really admire those men and women that are willing to open their hearts to children that need it the most! If my husband and I cannot have children, I hope that I can convince him to adopt! There are so many children that deserve a good life and I feel that we can provide that for them! We have so much love to give!

My blogger friend, Kailey at More Than You'll Ever Know and her husband Dru, have recently decided to adopt. She started a new blog to record her new journey. Visit her blog Cheers to Plan A and cheer her on! Kailey and her husband will be amazing parents! I can't wait until their dream is fulfilled!

I recently started to follow another couple who just found out that the birth mother of the child that they were adopting had changed her mind and will be keeping the baby. Stop by Something Beautiful and show some love to Erika and Matt. They are in my prayers through this tough time.

For all of you that are in the adoption process or have started the adoption process only to find that you are pregnant, I admire you! All of you! Happy National Adoption Month! :)

Colgate Slim Soft VoxBox

I ran across the website Influenster about a year ago and finally decided to join four months ago. Who doesn't love free stuff? After connecting all of my social media sites, and doing a few reviews of products, I unlocked my first VoxBox. The first VoxBox that I qualified for was the Colgate Slim Soft VoxBox. The items in the VoxBox were the Colgate Slim Soft toothbrush, Colgate Total Advanced Whitening toothpaste, and Colgate Total Advanced Pro-Shield Peppermint Blast mouthwash.

I received it back in September, but I had just been to the dentist and received a free toothbrush that I had just started using. I waited until today to open this one. Here are the pros and cons:

  •  The bristles are 17x slimmer bristles that makes for a deeper cleaning.
  • The bristles are soft on your gums.

  • The head of the brush is not as thick as I'm used to. It makes it a little more difficult to brush your tongue. It is doable though. :)
  • The brush that I was sent is a "soft" bristle brush. I thought that I heard that a "medium" bristle brush is the best kind.
Overall, I like the toothbrush and will continue to use it. I definitely recommend this toothbrush.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Some of My Favorite Photos

I am really glad that I decided to get a SLR camera a few years ago. 
Without it, I wouldn't have been able to snap these beautiful pictures.
Sunset at Hotel del Coronado in Coronado, CA

View of the Beach from the Santa Monica Pier in Santa Monica, CA

Chillin' on the beach in Playa del Carmen in Quintana Roo, MX

Hotel del Coronado in Coronado, CA

Artist Painting in La Jolla, CA

Fall at Camp Nawakwa in Lac du Flambeau, WI

Outside of the Art Institute of Chicago in Chicago, IL

Dolphin off the Santa Monica Pier in Santa Monica, CA

The Loons at Camp Nawakwa in Lac du Flambeau, WI

Fireworks on the Fourth of July in White Heath, IL

Saturday, November 9, 2013

The Stork Award

I am so honored to be one of the first 10 nominees for The Stork Award! I was nominated by Teresa the creator of the Stork Award and author of Where the *Bleep* Is Our Stork? and Risa at Who Shot Down My Stork?!

Click here to read the description of the award.

How it works:
  1. Include the Stork Award icon in your post.
  2. Link to the person(s) who nominated you.
  3. Answer 10 questions about yourself.
  4. Nominate as many bloggers as you want to receive the award.
  5. Ask your nominees 10 new questions.
  6. Link your nominees and let them know they've been nominated.
  7. Post the Stork Award icon on your blog side bar if you are so inclined.
Teresa's Questions:
  1. Do you like to plan things out in detail or be spontaneous? I like to do both. I tend to plan more things out in detail though. My husband isn't very spontaneous, so he holds that side of me back. :)
  2. What embarrasses you? It might be a little petty, but I get really embarrassed about the fact that I finally graduated w/ my bachelors degree last year in May and I still have not found a teaching job. Every time someone asks me about my job I say "I'm only a teacher's aide." Then I feel bad because I feel like I am talking down my job. It is an important job as well, I am just embarrassed that I am not making more money after all of the money that I spent (or am paying back for the next 10+ years) on schooling.
  3. What are some of your favorite websites? If I am on the computer I am usually on Facebook, Pinterest, or Blogger.
  4. How would you explain your basic life philosophy? When I was growing up I used to think about death a lot and get depressed. My dad pretty much told me that life if short and to enjoy life while we can. Getting upset about it was not going to change anything. We all gotta go sometime. I realized that I need to live life to the fullest. I try to follow the quote by James Dean: "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."
  5. Would you rather be hated or forgotten? That's a really good question. I would rather be forgotten. I don't like it when people hate or dislike me for whatever stupid reason. It doesn't happen often, but I think it has happened before. Of course being forgotten means that I didn't positively impact the lives of others. Hmmm....
  6. What do you like least about yourself? I am very weak when it comes to eating healthy. If I try really hard, I can drop a lot of weight...but then I go back to my terrible eating habits and gain the weight back quickly. I hope our future children have my husbands metabolism. He can eat and eat and not gain an ounce.
  7. Do you have a favorite number? Any particular reason why you like that number? I've never really had a favorite number. My husband and I both really like 34 because we were married on March 4th. My husband initially liked it because it was Walter Payton's (from the Chicago Bears) number. :)
  8. If you could try out any job for a day, what would you like to try? I would really like to rescue animals from laboratories. I really admire the work that Beagle Freedom Project does. I have two beagle mixes and I understand why labs experiment on these sweet and extremely trusting animals. It breaks my heart and I would love to do anything that I can to be a part of an amazing team such as BFP (Beagle Freedom Project....not Big Fat I would be so passionate about my job. :)
  9. If you could go back in history, who would you like to meet? No one, really...
  10. How are you, really? I am good, thanks for asking. ;) No...really...for just getting a BFN for my first IVF cycle, I am doing okay now. I got all of my crying out last weekend. This is not the end of the rope for us. We will try until we exhaust all of our options.
Risa's Questions:
  1. What is your favorite recipe? My sister's chocolate chip cookies. :) They are super soft.
  2. What do you do for a living? I am a teacher's aide. I work with children with special needs, learning disabilities, and behavioral disorders.
  3. What is your favorite hobby? Scrapbooking! :)
  4. Describe your spouse/partner in three words. Funny, loving, and tall. ;)
  5. What is you favorite book? Or, Movie? Book: Angela's Ashes & Movie: Amelie
  6. How has the Internet affected your life? The internet introduced me to Blogger where I have found an amazing support group of women who are helping me mentally and emotionally through the journey to becoming a mother.
  7. If you could change careers tomorrow, what would you do? Refer to the answer that I gave to Teresa's question #8. :)
  8. What is one long-term goal of yours (more than three months)? No fair saying being a mother. Pay off my student loans.
  9. Who was the last person you called? My mom to cancel our day trip to a state park. Mike isn't feeling well. :(
  10. What is your worst habit? When I get bored or nervous I bite my nails.
 My Nominees:
I realize that Teresa nominated me, but she has been given me so much support that I feel that she deserves her own award. :) Risa also deserves a return nomination for being so wonderful. :) I also realize that some of the ladies that I am nominating have already been nominated. I will leave it up to them whether or not they want to answer my questions too.

I like how Teresa put names in alphabetical order, so I'm doing that as well. Every woman is equally as special! ;)
  1. Amie at Is It Time Yet? 
  2. Ashley at Man and Wife and Two Fur Babies
  3. Caroline at In Due Time
  4. Em at Teach Me to Braid
  5. Jennifer at It's Jennifer Juniper
  6. Jenn at Tricky & Peep 
  7. JoJo at JoJo's Infertile World
  8. Kailey at Cheers to Plan A
  9. Laura at The Adventures of an Infertile Myrtle
  10. Risa at Who Shot Down My Stork
  11. Shay at The IF Journey 
  12. Teresa at Where the *Bleep* is Our Stork? 
My Questions:
  1. What is your favorite band/musician?
  2. What do you like most about yourself?
  3. What quality/qualities did you find in your husband that attracted you to him?
  4. If you are a working woman, do you really truly like your job?
  5. Do you have any fears (heights, spiders, dark, etc)?
  6. What are your favorite types of movies (comedy, drama, action, scary, romantic comedies, etc)?
  7. If you could be an animal for a day, what you you be and why?
  8. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing that you would buy?
  9. What is the next thing on your "to do" list?
  10. What is your favorite childhood memory?

Monday, November 4, 2013

IVF #1 = BFN (for sure)

My Facebook status yesterday morning after taking the pregnancy test was: I need chocolate like right now. Anyone wanna share their kids Halloween candy with an angry infertile? ;) 

Can you believe that my parents went all the way to the candy store in Indiana that has really good chocolate and they got me my favorites! Chocolate and peanut butter and red velvet cherries. Yum. I have the best parents in the entire world. They will do anything to make me feel better! :) I love them so much.

In other news, I went in for labs this morning and decided that I wasn't going to drink a lot of water because I usually end up miserable about 20 minutes into my 50 minute drive to the clinic. Well....I really only had a couple gulps of water. I forgot to start drinking water as I got closer to the the clinic. I was too dehydrated that they couldn't get much blood from me. The phlebotomist stuck me 3 times (yay...more pain and bruises) before she sent me out into the waiting area to drink some water. I drank 5 and a half cups of freezing cold water and sat there shivering while waiting for her to call me back again. Once I went back for the second time, she was able to get a good amount of blood. While she was taking the blood, I talked to my nurse about doing a frozen embryo transfer (FET). She had me make an appointment with my doctor to get the approval and then I will have that done in December. My appointment with the doctor is on the 25th of this month. Before that I have to go in for lab work on the 15th. My nurse told me that many women are successful with FET because their body hasn't just gone through the "trauma" of an egg retrieval. That makes total sense.

Speaking of frozen embryos. I called today to find out how much it is to freeze the embryos and have them stored. My jaw literally dropped. $595 to freeze them and store them for the first 30 days and then $42 a month after that. Needless to say there goes a good size chunk of our savings :/

Thanks for all of your prayers! Mike and I very much appreciate all of your kind words!

Sunday, November 3, 2013

I Was PUPO...Until I Was Just PO

I was so excited to be PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). I have tried to be so positive during this cycle. I thought for sure that in less than 9 months I would be bringing home one or two babies from the hospital. Of course every little symptom was something that I read could be a pregnancy symptom or because of implantation. Then last night I went to the bathroom and wiped and saw a little bit of light brownish blood. I immediately got upset and contacted my sister who did the research online and found this:

Does Spotting Mean Its Over?
No. Please breathe now - you're turning a remarkable shade of blue. Your body has been going through a lot during your IVF cycle. Hormones, injections, stress, egg retrieval (if it is a fresh cycle) - none of these should be discounted. And during the transfer your doctor probably used a speculum so he/she could visualize your cervix, then the catheter had to pass through the cervix, and then the catheter may have irritated a tiny bit of the lining. In addition, you are likely on some hormone supplements including progesterone, which can cause spotting. Any of these things could cause a little spotting, and not necessarily immediately.

There is another thing that can cause spotting, and this is a happy possibility: it's called implantation spotting. Implantation spotting happens when the embryo burrows into the uterine lining and implants, so that it can begin growing. Implantation spotting often looks different from other types of spotting; the color is a light pink or light brown and it may be "streaky" in appearance.

Some women say that in addition to spotting, they also feel some mild cramping a little before or at about the same time the spotting begins. The feeling typically does not last long, as the embryo is quite tiny and only causes a mild disruption in the uterine lining.

Not everyone experiences implantation spotting, so it is one of those aspects of the post-transfer period that tends to make women question everything. Are the cramps the beginning of my period, or are they implantation cramps? Is that spotting implantation spotting or is it the beginning of my period? I don't have any spotting or cramping - so maybe the embryo didn't implant! And on and on, until we are in a two week frenzy of anxiety and nerves.

I felt a little better until I woke up this morning to blood on my pantiliner. I decided to go against what I said and I took a HPT (with the first pee of the day) just to see that my instincts from last night were right. I was tired of being hopeful when my head was telling me that it just didn't work. Of course I saw "Not Pregnant" for about the billionth time. My heart is breaking.

I feel that my body has failed me...over and over again. Now I have to go in for the pregnancy test tomorrow @$$ early in the morning...and for what? I already know the answer, but they gotta do the test.

On another note, we got the call from the lab a few days ago that said that they are freezing 3 embryos. I just have to call the insurance company to see if more than one embryo transfer is covered. We have my husband's insurance until the end of the year and they cover 1 IVF. I don't know if that is 1 egg retrieval and as many transfers that we need to do until we use up the embryos, or if that is 1 egg retrieval and 1 transfer. We may have to wait until we get under the school district insurance at the beginning of the year. I sure am tired of waiting.

I am really hoping and praying that my blogger friends that had close IVF cycles to me have a better outcome than I did. I will keep my fingers crossed for all of you!